Halo 3

As I am the only person left in the world who has played Halo 3 and who has not made a comment I thought I should really say a few words. Just to keep the universe in balance.

I have the pasty complexion and twitchy eyes of a person who spends too much time with boxes of moving images. I have attained a rank of first degree couch potato and love nothing more than to plug my brain into worlds where well positioned frag grenades or sword thrusts can solve almost any problem. Thus my words should be taken as gospel. And here they are: “Halo 3 is frikken awesome and the greatest thing of things out of all things in the whole of thingdom ever…”

Now I am not a person easily impressed. I fall asleep on roller coasters, read books during Hollywood blockbuster movies and bikini clad women at the beach barely warrant my notice…. Ok I lied about the last one. So when I say Halo 3 should be voted president of the world, should be showered in gifts of all thing precious to man then I really mean it.

I of course forked out for the Legendary Edition so I could get my very own Master Chief helmet… the laws of geekdom did require this, I had no choice.

But more importantly the game. Well the graphics are fantastic the levels are beautiful and the numbers of bad guys to obliterate are satisfactorily high. The weapons have all been tweaked to an extra goodness level and there are a whole bunch of new toys to play with. The only thing bad about the whole game is that it has an end.

I had the fortune to try a little head-to-head multi-player action the other night with my wife and her mum and uncle. Yup, her mum. Carole is not the typical mother-in-law who is only interested in saying I ruined her daughters life or pointing out that I haven’t produced any grand children - she actually prefers xbox games and is quite the avid Halo player. The maps were fantastic in their detail and had an awesome realistic feel. And as nice as Carole is there is nothing quite as satisfying as blasting your mother-in-law to scrap using the all new Spartan Laser.

The ability to customise your character armour is also a nice touch. Even down to allocating a female voice to the wife so she makes a nice girly sigh when she takes a rifle butt to the back of the head - just like real life.

The theatre feature is awesome. For those who haven’t heard, this gives you the ability to replay your multi-player match and re-live the carnage. You can control the camera position, speed, freeze, damn near anything. So you can play the moment you mowed down your mother-in-law with the warthog over and over again.

All in all, the most enjoyable use of money without having to worry about the wife finding out. If you don’t have an xbox 360 you need to get one simply for this Halo 3, even if you never play a different game it’s worth the cash and every hour of the rest of your life.

Best Bits:
- The new homing fast loading missile pod canon
- Dual wielding brute “spiker” pistols
- The brute battle axe, “It bash good…” says the wife
- The horn on the mongoose ATV